Chapter VI
“Don’t chase after what makes you cry,
try hard by yourself with what is left.”
Nothing was left to try hard with…
No more tears knew on my cheeks a way.
With so many visits, they got bored and left.
The road I was walking on was filled with needles…
No, it wasn’t put to harm me. But to awaken the soul which I carried the moment I was born.
They couldn’t prevent me from walking for I to bear such a harsh fate.
The Chosen was to fear not that which harms human beings…but that which harms her companions.
“I never wished that”…never have I wished for myself such a dream.
Not the dream that I longed for…
“A nightmare…”which kept threatening me to pledge my allegiance to it.
I have shattered into pieces and no one seemed to have the power to collect them.
“Broken beyond repair”…my soul.
No more could I bear this pain while having them watch over me bleeding.
“Waiting for the end”…yes, they were waiting for my end.
The end of the black dot whose fault was of being born, spreading darkness upon all that existed.
“You’re not alone!
All the people, bearing heavy burdens, search for tomorrow.
You need not search for someone to collect that which belongs to you.
You, alone, can collect your own pieces of yourself…”
Without me…”the world will be filled with darkness.”
Without my light…”people will live in pitch darkness.”
Without this necessary sacrifice…”darkness will bestow its eternal suffering upon us all.”
“There is no darkness in a place where the sun shines.
There is no spot in which darkness can posses for eternal.
There is no replacement for the light of the sun at day time and the moon at night.
Your eyes reflect a beautiful sun, that’s the only thing you among all own.”
“I have the blood of the Chosen flowing in me. I was born to save the world.
I was born…to be a sacrifice.
Because I was the Chosen, I was always alone.
Because I was known as the Chosen, I wasn’t a human being.”
“Everyone wants to save the world. That which flows within you is the same blood as each and every human being posses.
It’s true that you lived a lonely life, but it wasn’t because you were the Chosen.
You didn’t have the strength to approach anyone because you would die as the Chosen and with ties, the mission will be even harder to be accomplished.
It’s because you were the Chosen that I was able to meet you. I’m glad that you are the Chosen.
Live as the Chosen and save the world, but remember that there is another way to life other than to wait for death!
As long as God exists, there is a hope of being saved…of continue on living!”
“Why is it that I’m being stalked by this voice?
This voice…this gentle voice changed everything around me.
I am now in a place which cannot be seen, but my soul has seen it…
This voice aches my heart. Anything was better than this agony.
Anything was more tolerable than this confusion.
My heart had been confused ever since that incident when I saw the cave.
My fears had been ever since growing upon me. I’m trying to comfort myself with many suppositions, but I found all in vain.
I want it now…
I want it…desperately…my life!”
“Where the pain is coming, there is something real!”
“In the direction where the pain is coming from…
This sensation…is it my other self’s feelings?
Lonely and sad?!”
He came.
In a moonless night, outside the holy house, I waited for my destiny to arrive.
However, he reached me before it…
“They said if you don’t want, they won’t force you to do it!” he claimed.
And continued on, “Speak! Tell them what your heart desires!”…
“But my heart doesn’t belong to me…” I proclaimed.
“What are you saying?” he questioned.
“This isn’t the time for this. Don’t you want to do what you like?”
“Not all what I want is the right thing to do!” I replied.
“What do you mean? Haven’t you asked for help couple of minutes ago?
All you have to do is either cry or speak.”
“I am the Chosen!
I can have what I need without the need to ask for it…
I can’t cry. I can’t shed tears over worldly pleasures.
I can’t speak. My words are unheard by merely human beings.”
“Are you serious?
Yesterday, you were dying to live and today, you’re throwing your life.
That’s strange…
Have they bought your mind?”
“The Chosen has nothing to fear of…I have nothing to lose.”
“Is this you? Or have you given yourself to the imaginary holy creature they’re talking about?”
“The real me has died…I no longer exist…
My words...words when I was a human being, meaningless words…”
“Are you throwing away your life?
Do you wish to continue on living as the Chosen?”
Words didn’t come…What I wished for was a life.
The one who gave it to me, is now asking for it…
It became so precious that I refused to give it back…not by the hands of creatures.
“What am I supposed to do?
Is there a way to get me back being a human being?”
“Live! That’s the only way you can show others and yourself that you’re a human being.”
“And this, which I carry? What am I supposed to do with it?”
“You must not kill that which is alive.”
“Can I live, with two souls?”
“Merge them!”
Tears formed in my eyes. I sniffed and wiped my eyes, trying to appear strong before
this old man, but the words he said was much stronger to rebel against them…
“I wonder why…
Why are you trying to save me?”
He let a loose smile and said genuinely
“Because you’re trying to change things for better and because you look like my passed away daughter..”
“That makes you as my father.”
It was a long silence we spend looking at each other. Our throat felt tight and words couldn’t be formed.
To him only I felt that I could be myself…
“Tell me, is a father supposed to be like that?”
He looked at me with a sad eyes and whispered:
“If only you didn’t become the Chosen, you could live more freely.
If there were no such thing as the Chosen, they might accept their fate and live peacefully till the end.
The Chosen can’t save anyone. She’s hurting others and getting hurt herself.”
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