Chapter VI
Caged birds yearning to fly to the sky…where they have drawn their dreams in. In a land isolated from society…they struggle to achieve the so called ‘richness of mind’. A land well known to every soul…exception to those who are body separated from soul, but not totally non-existed. A land full of lives set to realize their value. A land of free prison… What they grasped was beyond what they expected. They fought a battle they couldn’t win… And so some of them surrender while the remaining fought their battle to the end…
“The class feels empty.”
Of the one hundred students, only sixty were present and of those present, only ten who passed without failing in any subject. The classroom felt somehow very lonely… like its residents have deserted it and someone’s finally coming back to it after being away for so long. Looking at the doorknob for so long, I never thought the day of that I'd open it would be today. Inside, the walls were covered in dust.So wide was the class, so many chairs and desks were empty and so little students were sitting. No longer education could be found there. Something was missing…
It’s been three months since the trail that started all our heartaches, and still there’s this iciness in the air… The harsh experience we went through, invigorated us to find the true culprit behind the case. And since we didn’t have any excruciating evidence, we needed to investigate about it in a roundabout way rather than knowing the truth from them. On tenth of February, we had our first lead.
“I have the right to know my marks for the final exam, right?”
“Absolutely!”
“Then pleas, doctor, tell me, how much did I get out of fifty?”
“Let’s see. Jasmine…Jasmine…Ah here it is, you got thirty two out of fifty.”
“If I did get thirty two, then I’d pass the subject. If you can remember well, doctor, I took thirteen out of twenty in the midterm exam and for the presentation I took ten out of fifteen. As for the assignment and the participation, you gave me four out of ten, which means a total of fifty nine out of one hundred. I only need one mark to pass. Not to mention that five marks you had on your hands. I think I at least got one mark out of five from it.”
“I’m sorry, I gave you none from it.”
“Why? Because I didn’t get full mark? Or because I don’t deserve them?”
“You have no right to know for what I use these five marks!”
Yeah, we had no right to know that which became her property. We just needed to have hope that we might be one of those she had interest in. No pain, no gain…they say. But in this university, some students gained without pain, and some didn’t gain even with pain…
The second period started. The class began filling back again and students sat silently looking at the board strictly as the translation lecture twisted the doorknob and walked inside with footsteps that seemed light and slow. Grieve and sadness hung over most of us. There were sounds of whispers in the back row, whilst everyone kept mum; listening as the doctor went on teaching and explaining, throwing beside our agony.
“So she didn’t tell you?” I asked whispering.
“Yeah. She refused to talk about the matter again.” answered Jasmine.
“The matter seems deeper than what I thought.”
“I’ll talk with doctor Halt. Hopefully she’ll listen to me and do something about it.”
“I hope so too…”
“How’s Hikari doing?” I inquired whispering.
“I don’t know. She’s been smiling ever since the lecture began. Why not try asking her directly?” Jasmine replied whispering.
“I’m a little far from her. You ask her!” I pleaded.
“Hikari! How are you doing today?” she asked already knowing the answer.
“Hmm? I’m fine…what’s with this question?” she blinked at the sudden question Jasmine has asked.
“Toma wanted to know!”
“No, don’t tell her.” I whispered to her tapping her right arm.
“Why not?”
“Some?” Hikari called.
“Uh, yes?” I responded.
“How are you?” she asked smiling.
“Um…I-I’m doing fine…” I stuttered looking at the ground shamefully.
“How’s studying going with you?”
“Good, I think.”
“Hmmm?”
“Good, good…”
“We’re starting the new semester. Make sure to grasp everything from the beginning so that it won’t crumble on you later.” She lectured.
“Yeah…I will…”
“Umm…why don’t you two sit beside each other instead of having me between you?” Jasmine wondered.
“No-no I’m- I mean we’re fine like this…” I informed.
“Something’s wrong, Some?” Hikari asked, curious as to the answer.
“N-no, nothing’s wrong…”
“Don’t fake it. It’s all written on your face!” said Jasmine suspiciously.
“Hmm…Something’s cocky going on.”
I didn’t want to get any contact with Hikari. Not once did I stop thinking of what had happened…“I’m a betrayal.” This thought refused to let go…
The day dragged on…I end up sitting under the shades of a big tree in the big garden. Couple of minutes has passed before Mon chou popped out.
“Some! What a pleasant surprise!”
“Some?...Hikari also called me Some…She called me Some…”
“Some?”
“Ah, sorry. What brings you here?”
“What are you doing all alone?” she drifted her eyes left and right searching.
“Don’t search for them. I came alone.”
“Why so?” she asked.
Silence was the answer she received. “Something happened?” she questioned in a carefree tone.
A long dried sigh was the answer for her second question.
“Ooh, interesting! Spill it!” she demanded sitting beside me.
“First of all, I need to fill my appetite. I’m so hungry…”
“Yeah, me too. I’ll treat you.”
“Then, I’ll stop this fluttering stomach once and for all!”
“Can you do that?”
“There’s nothing in this world that goes beyond the grasp of my hands!”
“Ooh.”
I walked with Mon chou all the way to the Cafeteria. I stopped in the mid way, in one of the corridors as I pumped into Lino. Now that I looked wholly at her, she was….short….
She stood straight with pride, much like how a solider would react when he pumps into his enemy. Her eyes glued at me, refusing to let go. She clinched on her teeth, looking furiously at me. Mon chou was puzzled looking at me trying to figure out the reason for the sudden stop. With so many girls walking and roaming the way, she couldn’t tell exactly whom I was targeting. “Hello?!” Mon chou waved her hand in front of me.
On the one hand, “Some, are you here? Hello? Mon chou to Some! Can you hear me? Where have you reached?” she went on.
On the other hand, Lino’s friends were poking her here and there with their fingers and her face turned into red holding her laugh. The scene was too much for me to bear. I couldn’t resist more and burst into laughter.
“I WON!” she screamed scaring her friends and Mon chou who was sharing the laughter with me.
“Ah…who said we were battling?” I asked wiping off a tear that I shed from laughing.
“I said!” she answered with pride as she got near from me.
“Ah, and who might you be? Oh- wait!” I stood tall and continued, “I know. You told me your name that time. What was it?” I placed my right hand on my chin thinking for a moment.
“Yeah. Lion!” I stated cheerfully.
“Yes! Lion! Eh…L-Lion? Why…” she furiously shouted completely losing her temper.
“You know her?” Mon chou asked with curiosity.
“A- we met by accident.” I answered.
“Accident? Fill me in more.” She stepped in my way blocking me from advancing.
“I’ll tell you, but after we finish what we came for here.” I informed passing by Lino, whose eyes were filled with anger and madness.
Time progressed and we enjoyed every second of it, narrating some incidents and exchanging the little chit chat…totally forgetting the last lecture of the day.
When I got there, they were out earlier than usual. I didn’t know if there was any change in the schedule, since it changes every minute...
“Where have you been?” Jasmine asked me, leaning at the doorway of the entrance corridor to the language department.
“Oh. It ended fast today?”
“The lecture? Yeah, it did.”
“That’s strange. I thought Dr. Yvon never gives up on her lectures!”
“Yeah. Some students went over and asked her to cancel the lecture. Surprisingly, she agreed, that is only if she came and found no one at class!”
“What? Doesn’t that sound much like WE are the ones who don’t want the lecture rather than her canceling it by her own will?”
“It sure does!”
“I’m worried about this, but oh well, I’ll go amuse myself.”
“With whom? Hikari is at the class waiting.”
“Alone, I guess…”
“Hmmm…just answer with yes or no. Are you two fighting? Is there any problem?”
Problem…Had I had any problems with her? Was there any between us?...I couldn’t tell if she had one, but I was definitely sure that my mind had…I couldn’t stop blaming myself.
The next morning, our day started with a torrential rainstorm. The sky was still dark at dawn, lightning was flashing the window and thunders were ripping the sky. Rain fell heavily nourishing the earth. Above all these, we went to university. When passing by the big garden, the view outside caught my attention. The rain dripped from the palm trees. Water stood in the pool located on the left side of the garden. It was so admirable that I spend the remaining time gazing at it. When the time drew near for the first period, I rushed to the class. On the staircase, I pumped into one of my classmates, crying…
“What’s wrong?” I
“They refused to show me my grades and on top of that, they added two other subjects not to mention the previous two.”
“Ah…”
“Why the hell am I telling you?! It’s not like you’ll understand.”
“I understand well!”
“A girl who comes late, sleeps during the lecture, and always enjoys her time without caring, wouldn’t understand a bit of what I’m feeling right now. That’s what I expect from someone like you!”
I couldn’t utter a word. I couldn’t defend myself…somewhere inside me believed her. I haven’t cared of what happened with them, neither did I study hard, nor encouraged Hikari when she failed…
At class, I sat all the way in the back listening to the rain hitting against the window. It poured down so heavily, yet so amazingly. Half of me felt so sheltered, lucky to be warm and safe, while the other half had the urge to be under this wet rainy weather…
Sigh…
“Wow! For the first time in my life I see Toma sighing at the rain. Don’t you admire the rainy days?”
“Huh?” I looked at my right side where Jasmine stood starring at me. After a moment of silence, she leaned forward toward me, stretched her right hand and placed it on my forehead.
“Your sick? Something happened?” she questioned, gazing at me closely.
“How do I look like?” I asked whispering.
“Well…like a person who just heard the most shocking news in his life or as a patient who was recently informed that he won’t survive!”
“Oh, is it that bad?”
“Even worse if you looked at it.”
“Oh well. Let’s leave it like that. It’ll heal soon.”
“What happened?” she questioned, a puzzled look on her face.
“Nothing worth mentioning!” I whispered resting my head on m right arm.
“Is that so…” she looked into my eyes worriedly.
I gave no response, simply glaring out the window at the darkening sky.
“Ah, here you are!” Hikari’s voice raised from behind. “I was searching for you. Why at the back?” she asked.
“Simply because of the weather.” My answer was simple and straightforward.
“I thought so. You want to enjoy it to the fullest!” she joyfully explained. “Can I talk to you for a moment, Tome?”
“Tome? Why does it feel like I’ve really missed being called by this name? I’m expecting a new nickname to be born soon.” I kept thinking.
“Tome?” her calling interrupted my thoughts and I tilted my head up looking at her as she stood smiling with both of her hands behind her back.
“I’ll leave you two. Take your time. Toma, I better find you here when I return back.” Jasmine said no more after warning and left the class.
“Here!” Hikari stretched her arms toward me holding a paper bag.
“What’s this?”
“Open it and see.” She requested, shaking the bag. When I opened it, inside was something that looked like a gift. “A gift! For you!” she smiled softly.
“U-uh. Wh-why did you concern yourself to give me one?” I said not realizing what I uttered.
“Hmm? It’s better than nothing, ne? You deserve one for your hard working!” she happily assured. My chest felt tight…I didn’t want to remember it at all, but somehow I can’t forget it…
“I- I won’t try t-to tell you o-of my result if you again did th-this…” I didn’t prepare anything to say for her sudden act, but words were forcing to be out…
“What are you saying? Don’t be like that. I’m really happy to hear your result.” She meekly added…
I wasn’t happy at all…
The rest of the day was absolute nothingness. I caught myself walking toward the big garden after our dismissal of the first period. The rain has stopped allowing the bright beams of the sun to start his work.
“It’s no use…
I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m so mortified I don’t want to remember it at all, but somehow I always catch myself thinking about it. Ugh…the headache…no, no, I mustn’t think negatively. Positive thinking! Positive thinking!
Nothing happened. I’m alright. I’m doing just fine…!”
Few moments passed and a smile crawled up to my face recalling the memories of me and Hikari trying to think positively even at critical time.
“I can’t believe how much I changed using it. Ever since we met, we both changed tremendously. Even though I’m so eager to tell her how the development is going, yet I don’t have enough courage to face her, not after what happened… What am I supposed to do now? Act as if nothing happened? Or dwell with those emotions forever?
Ahhh, I’m back to thinking again…” I complained clutching at my head.
“And here you are talking to yourself again…” a voice came from behind the big tree I sat under. When I looked behind, Lino was sitting, laying her back to a tree and her legs straight out, eating her breakfast.
“You again!” I mumbled.
“Why are you clutching at your head?” she questioned sipping the juice.
“Listen, you! I’m in the middl-“ she interrupted me growling, “YOU??!! I have a name!”
“Oh my sincerest apologize! What was it? Lion?” I guessed pointing.
“It’s LINO!” she corrected furiously.
“Oh, I’m very sorry. Say Lino-chan,” stressing on her name, “Why are you so sensitive when it comes about names? It’s only a name, after all. Whether its Lion, Lino or Lime, as long as the whole name doesn’t change!” I lectured.
“You’re right!” she surprisingly agreed with me. “As long as we don’t change the whole letters, right Tomato?”
“To-Tomato? What kind of a name is this? You’ve smashed my name wholly.”
“Oh yeah? I heard your friends calling you either by Tome or Toma!” she smirked.
“I don’t have the energy to get angry or quarrel with you now. Come near, I want your advice on something.”
She came nearer and sat down beside me. I narrated the whole story in hope to alleviate my sense of guilt.
“Umm…do you want to hear my opinion?” she asked.
“Gladly!”
“I don’t think you betrayed her or she would think that way.
To me, it feels like a mission accomplished…”
